A while back we attended a Family Enrichment Conference on the topic of anger. The speaker noted that 9 out of 10 persons have an anger problem. Some of these people are obvious – they blow up like a volcano. Others are not so obvious – they keep it inside and let it fester into bitterness. We know that not all anger is wrong for Paul told the Ephesians to “be angry” and then finished with “and sin not.” (Eph. 4:29) But it is not always easy for us to evaluate when it is right and when it is wrong. Even more difficult is the whole issue of self-control which is needed in order to obey the imperative to sin not. There is a great need for this among our teens. This period of their life is full of confusion as they enter adulthood. Paul instructs Titus that both young men and young women need to be trained in self-control (Titus 2:5, 6).
Getting A Grip: The Heart of Anger Handbook for Teens follows Priolo’s other very helpful book, The Heart of Anger geared for parents of younger children. In Getting a Grip he helps teens to understand what anger is and what God thinks of it. He teaches them how to communicate properly, how to be self-controlled when provoked, how to manage their tendency to manipulate and how to undo disrespect.
One unusual chapter is on learning how to talk with your parents about their sin. It is biblical as we, those who are believers, are also brothers and sisters in Christ and are commanded to restore one who is caught in sin (Gal. 6:1). He reminds them to deal with the log in their own eye first, to be respectful and that no matter how their parents respond they are to continue to submit to their authority. They are encouraged to talk with their parents about how this should be handled before the need arises. I look forward to this interaction with my teens.
The last chapter of the book talks about what it means to be a teen. We should take the approach with our teenagers that they are adults in an apprenticeship toward independence. The author reinforces this concept and encourages them to pursue faithfulness. His final admonition to teens is for them to “continue to mature in your walk with Christ – no longer as a child , but in dependence upon the Holy Spirit, learning how to speak the truth in love, growing up in every way into Him, who is the head, into Christ.” [p. 199]
This book is a great resource for teens for teaching them how to evaluate their heart, how to change and become self-controlled, to mature and become more like Christ. As with his first book it is always preferable if mom and dad read it first or along with their teen.